b + for effort

i've never put my full effort into anything. it's not like i half-ass everything, i just haven't ever put 100% into something (that is, if 100 % is even possible).

however, i always seem to come out on top and things turn out okay. actually, they turn out to be pretty darn good.

family.
family is one of those things my kidnapping adventures might be telling me to appreciate more. my family has managed to stay intact after years of ups and way-downs...major side-taking fights...teenage rebellion...diseases...emergency situations...financial issues...you name it, we've had it!

i haven't helped around the house in awhile. i haven't told my parents or sibling that i've loved them in a long time. heck, i haven't even been home that much the past few months.

yet, my mom still tells me she misses me when i'm gone and leaves goodies on my desk for when i do return. my dad makes plans to pick me up from the bus station ahead of time when i come back into town. my brother still manages small talk with his 'uncool older sister'.

certainly need to put in more effort for my never-failing support system.

school.
it's been smooth sailin' from K-12 to BA to B.Ed. no delays, no rejections, no nothing. might be hard to believe but certainly not my best efforts. up to my B.Ed, i've been a huge procrastinator. how i have come this far, i don't think i will ever know.

now, my B.Ed is a different story. i would say so far, my levels of effort have been in the 70%s, even the 80%s! evident from the levels of stress and lack of sleep. however, sometimes when i'm teaching i feel like i'm not doing much. i'm just going with the flow, improvising here and sticking in things i remember there. what i think was an okay lesson, my faculty advisor says: "You are a natural teacher! That was an excellent lesson! Definitely pass."

huh.

it sounds like bragging but it's not really a great feeling when you get something amazing that doesn't quite match how much you've tried. it almost feels like cheating. i guess i'll need to figure out the amount of enthusiasm and effort to live up to that 'something amazing', since i'll be doing this for the rest of my life.

but for now, i'll take it. thanks :P

relationships.
goodness. where do i begin? one long relationship i did not handle very well in the later stages turned out to be one of my oldest, and thankfully ongoing, friendships.

one short relationship opened my mind to the various definitions of 'relationship' and the variety of people out there in this big complicated world we live in. (un)fortunately, this one ended in heartbreak, but still a fairly decent friendship.

brackets because if it wasn't for this experience, i wouldn't end up with the greatest guy out there who was under my nose the whole time :) sorry ladies!

needless to say (since this is the point of my blog, rmbr?) i didn't work for it. i don't think i deserve such a wonderful person in my life but here we are :)

definitely another area i shall try to put in the (im)possible 100%.

undiscovered genius or just plain lucky?
my theory is that someone up there gives a crap about me enough to place things the way they are at the moment, regardless of how much or little effort i've put in. that someone is God by the way.

whether you think you've put enough effort in it or not, think you deserve it or not, take the time today to count your blessings...one by one by one by one.